Author Topic: Silver Diners  (Read 1345 times)

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Silver Diners
« on: November 08, 2013, 09:58:50 AM »
An unusual form of entertainment happened last night whilst at a restaurant.

 We had booked a table for the evening and were shown to our favourite table, which allows both diners to look out of a window, and one diner to have a wonderful view of the whole quirky restaurant as well. Unfortunately the other diner just has a bit of a wall with a clock and a huge wine vat, but hey ho, thems the breaks!
As we were shown to our table, there were another couple sitting at a table just infront of the wine vat. An elderly couple, grey haired and the gentleman had a long grey beard. They had a bottle of red wine on the table which was probably about half empty.  They both looked up at us as we moved towards them to sit down. I smiled and said good evening, and they smiled back.  We sat down at our table, and were given the menu to look at. 

During this silent time whilst we chose our meal, the couple's conversation was easily heard as they were only about a foot away from us, with the lady's back sideways on to me, and as they were slightly hard of hearing, the volume was a little higher than normal.

Lady; Do I know them?
Gentleman: Who?
L, Them!
L. (lifting her arm in annoyance and indicating with her thumb behind her to our table,) THEM!
G. No dear, they were just being polite saying good evening.

We smiled and carried on placing our order. The lady was obviously using the time to also write a letter home.

L. Where are we?

He thought for a while.

G. Parrar something.
L. Where?
G. Cellar I think.
L. Selling what?
G. No, Cellar Parrar I think, I'm not sure about the spelling. ( he carried on debating this to himself)
L. But selling what?
G.No dear, C E L L A R. ( he spelt it out)
L. The sea? I dont understand, write it down for me.

This he did and the lady was quite happy for a moment. Then;

L. But WHERE are we?
G. Puerto  Pollensa.
L. Right. (she then continued her letter.)

We then ordered our food and drink and continued out own chat for a while. The couple's main meal was brought to the table. a tomato salad to share between them as well as their own main dishes.

L. What's this?
G. Its what you ordered dear, tongue.
L. I like tumbet, what's this?
G. You didnt order tumbet, you ordered tongue.
L. It doesnt look like tongue. (takes a mouthful). Its cooked! I cant chew it! Its not tongue!
G. It is.
L. Its not! When I get it at home its sliced and pink and cold. We dont eat tongue cooked! I cant chew it!
G. Its always cooked when we have it, its just cooled and sliced for packing. Here they have cooked it and cut it in chunks for you and its still hot.
L. But i wouldnt have ordered it if I had kown it was like this.  I CANT CHEW IT!

There was a silence for a while.

G. Have you got your bottom teeth in?

I have to say, we both had to look out of the window at this point and try very hard not to catch each others eye!

L. No.
G. Well, you should always put your bottom teeth in when you come out for a meal, otherwise you WILL have problems chewing wont you? You should have ordered chicken, you can manage that. Just have the tomato then.
L. I cant chew it. You eat it.
G. No. You ordered it, I didnt. Eat the tomato salad.
L. its rude to leave it. You eat it.
G. No. I didnt order it. I am not obliged to eat it, and neither are you, so just leave it. (then..) No you cant have any more, remember what happened last time? Just drink the water. ( and with this, he took the wine bottle away from her and poured what was left into his own glass!)  There, its all gone now anyway.

We were seriously having problems with attempting to hold any sort of mundane conversation ourselves by now, just to try to cover up the fact that we had given up trying!
The couple carried on in their own sweet way for a while longer and we ordered our deserts.

The waiter told us their specials, and then repeated it to the elderly couple, along with a conversation about when they were open in winter, closed for Christmas because of the family etc etc.  When he left to bring us the deserts ...

L.  What did he say?
G. They dont close, but they will over Christmas.
L. Thats hard work. Why are they closed over Christmas?
G. So the children can see their fathers.
L. What did he say was for desert?
(G mentioned a few of the specials, adding..)
G. .. and Cheese Cake.
L.  (Leaning forward to hear him)  Tooth Pick?
G. No - cheese cake.
L. Tooth Cake?
G. (now getting just a little exasperated)  No! Why would they serve Tooth Cake for desert? CHEESE CAKE!

We were doing everything we could to stop ourselves from collapsing with laughter!
Our deserts then turned up. One of them being whiskey cake, with the bottle of whiskey left on the table for hubby to "drizzle" over.

Well this caused no end of amusement for our two lovely silver haired diners.  They leant towards each other to "whisper" along the lines of... The waiter has forgotten to take the whiskey bottle away, and now that man is pouring it over his desert!!  How they giggled!

Finally, we ordered our coffees. As they were brought to our table, the lady's eyes followed them then said to her husband, "Arent they our coffees then?" "No dear, you didnt want any."

After a minutes silence or so, during which the lady was obviously writing her letter..

L. Where are we going?
G. To bed.
L. No, where are we GOING!"
G. Now? To bed!
L. No! Tomorrow!

Soon, they stood up ready to leave, with the lady getting her two walking sticks which had been placed just behind my chair. We smiled at them and made chit chat about it not raining, lovely weather so far etc etc. Hardly any of which they seemed to hear very well, but they smiled and nodded and gave different answers.

The lady then leant on her two sticks, and looking at me with a twinkle in her eye, said.

"I'm staggering a bit!"
"That's fine," I said, stroking her arm and smiling back up at her, "It shows you have had a lovely evening."
L. Yes dear, you too, good night!"

And off they went into the warm night air.
We looked at each other and finally gave into a fit of giggles!

Bless them both, you just couldn't make it up could you!  ;)
After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done!

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Re: Silver Diners
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2013, 14:53:04 PM »
Oh gosh! Well done you two for restraining and not falling over with laughter. As I read this I thought of that programme on Saturday evening Rule Britannia which shows sketches along the lines you describe. What an amusing evening for you and for them (whiskey drizzling over cake) I'm sure they will be talking of your antics to all their friends - maybe you even featured in her letter!!  ;D

On a serious note isn't it great that our silver haired friends are now able to holiday even with disabilities such as having to walk with 2 sticks.

Frightening to think it might just be us in years to come but please someone make me wear a hearing aid the thought of tongue for dinner would send me to a quick end!

Thanks for sharing this Bella. A great read and hope you are enjoying your stay - pouring here by the way!  :(

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.


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Re: Silver Diners
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2013, 10:22:47 AM »
Blimey Bella ,

 The C.I.A. are looking for people like you !!!!  "I wonder what old Angela Merkel is up to now ? "

 Happened in reverse to me in Casa earlier this year. I was explaining to my dining companions what a complete and utter arsehole this well known TV presenter was only to be interrupted by an eavesdropping woman on the next table .

 " Excuse me " she said "I think he's very nice "

 "Do you know him then " I retorted

 " No, but he smiled at me on the Pine walk a few weeks ago "

 So I told her in no uncertain way to butt out of other peoples conversation

 Then her husband started using strange language like " I'm going to punch your f***ing lights out "

 Yup, you guessed . It got nasty

 BL  >:( ;D >:(

HEY. YOU. Get off of my cloud ( of wonderful ) !!