Author Topic: New Christmas Page  (Read 3792 times)

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tonsyl

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #15 on: December 09, 2014, 08:19:21 AM »
Good to see sanity returned!
How do you know Santa is a man?
Things get done properly!

Belladonna

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #16 on: December 09, 2014, 08:40:16 AM »
Three Wise Women
(as opposed to Three Wise Men)
Do you know what would have happened if there had been Three Wise WOMEN instead of Three Wise MEN?

The WOMEN would have:

- Asked directions,
- Arrived on time,
- Helped deliver the baby,
- Cleaned the stable,
- Made a casserole, and
- Brought practical gifts (like nappies)

 ;D
After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done!

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Belladonna

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #17 on: December 09, 2014, 15:28:45 PM »
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite

 :D
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Eleanor

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #18 on: December 09, 2014, 15:42:45 PM »
Ha ha ha - ho ho ho it's Christmas cracker time!  ;D ;D
Eleanor


Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

tonsyl

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #19 on: December 09, 2014, 16:19:15 PM »
I declare that I am a fully paid up member of the BAA HUMBUG society, roll on December 26th!

Eleanor

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #20 on: December 09, 2014, 18:27:16 PM »
I can go one better tonsyl - roll on 2nd Jan!!! :o
Eleanor


Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

tonsyl

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #21 on: December 09, 2014, 19:54:50 PM »
You can indeed Eleanor and may I wish you a very merry Humbug season.

Belladonna

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #22 on: December 10, 2014, 12:06:48 PM »
Entering  Heaven


Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
 
 "In honour of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes  Christmas to get into heaven."
 
 The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.
 
 The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."
 
 The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's glasses.
 
 St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
 
 The man replied, "They're Carol's."

Boom boom!!  ;D

Am I seriously the only one going to put up jokes??!!  ;D ::)
After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done!

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Eleanor

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #23 on: December 10, 2014, 18:38:45 PM »
You can indeed Eleanor and may I wish you a very merry Humbug season.

from one Humbug to another - lol  ;D
Eleanor


Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #24 on: December 10, 2014, 18:40:31 PM »
Bella OH Bella! where the heck do you find them! lol  ;D ;D
Eleanor


Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

Belladonna

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #25 on: December 10, 2014, 20:20:28 PM »

Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino's for a pizza.
The salesgirl asked him:- 'Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?'

 :D
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Belladonna

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #26 on: December 11, 2014, 09:24:26 AM »

What carol is heard in the dessert?
Camel ye faithful.


 ;)
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Belladonna

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #27 on: December 13, 2014, 14:26:01 PM »
How do you know if Santa's been in your garden shed?

You've got three extra hoes


 ::)
« Last Edit: December 13, 2014, 14:27:33 PM by Belladonna »
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Belladonna

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #28 on: December 22, 2014, 09:29:05 AM »
What do you sing when you see a group of Chess Masters discussing their winning games in a hotel reception area?

(I love this one!)

"Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!"!!!!  ;D ;D

Boom, boom.!!
After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done!

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Bonyslad

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Re: New Christmas Page
« Reply #29 on: December 22, 2014, 11:33:49 AM »
One thousand percent for effort, Bella.

 Content , slightly different story !!!

  BL  ;D ;D ;)
BonysLad

HEY. YOU. Get off of my cloud ( of wonderful ) !!